AREC 2019 keynote speaker Scott Dutton.A conflict whisperer says kicking furniture might work for some people’s stress but it’s no way to succeed in any market. Here’s how he advised a mayor to tackle that.Byron Bay-based Scott Dutton, founder of mediation advisory firm Fighting Fair, said one of his trickiest negotiations was 10 parties in a country town where the mayor kicked two chairs and stormed out in a temper.Rather than be shocked, the rest of those in the negotiations were unsurprised at the reaction, saying it was normal. MORE AREC 2019: Ditch the ‘oxygen thieves’ Mr Dutton, who has trained more than 15,000 professionals to handle difficult conversations, told the AREC Conference on the Gold Coast that there were three traps to avoid. “What happens when we fall into these traps? It creates disconnection. We lose the ability to relate, empathise and communicate with the other.”He said maintaining that connection could be put down to several things including having an open mindset, focusing on understanding rather than an outcome, and sharing perspectives.“Connection is key,” he said. More from newsParks and wildlife the new lust-haves post coronavirus12 hours agoNoosa’s best beachfront penthouse is about to hit the market12 hours agoAREC 2019 was held at the Gold Coast Convention & Exhibition Centre. Picture: SOPHIE FOSTER“How does it get to the stage where people are throwing furniture and why can’t they have those difficult conversations earlier. Moving from difficult to connective conversations, there are three key traps to avoid,” he said.The biggest trap was laying blame, activating the fight or flight response in our brains.“The reptilian brain, when we feel threatened that’s where we go. When we are (there) it’s hard to think clearly. Blame is our reptilian response when we’re in stress.”The second trap was not recognising that there were multiple perspectives to every situation and the third was making judgments and assumptions without having all the information necessary. Video Player is loading.Play VideoPlayNext playlist itemMuteCurrent Time 0:00/Duration 0:58Loaded: 0%Stream Type LIVESeek to live, currently playing liveLIVERemaining Time -0:58 Playback Rate1xChaptersChaptersDescriptionsdescriptions off, selectedCaptionscaptions settings, opens captions settings dialogcaptions off, selectedQuality Levels720p720pHD432p432p216p216p180p180pAutoA, selectedAudio Tracken (Main), selectedFullscreenThis is a modal window.Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window.TextColorWhiteBlackRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyanTransparencyOpaqueSemi-TransparentBackgroundColorBlackWhiteRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyanTransparencyOpaqueSemi-TransparentTransparentWindowColorBlackWhiteRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyanTransparencyTransparentSemi-TransparentOpaqueFont Size50%75%100%125%150%175%200%300%400%Text Edge StyleNoneRaisedDepressedUniformDropshadowFont FamilyProportional Sans-SerifMonospace Sans-SerifProportional SerifMonospace SerifCasualScriptSmall CapsReset restore all settings to the default valuesDoneClose Modal DialogEnd of dialog window.This is a modal window. This modal can be closed by pressing the Escape key or activating the close button.Close Modal DialogThis is a modal window. This modal can be closed by pressing the Escape key or activating the close button.PlayMuteCurrent Time 0:00/Duration 0:00Loaded: 0%Stream Type LIVESeek to live, currently playing liveLIVERemaining Time -0:00 Playback Rate1xFullscreenHow much do I need to retire?00:58
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